


Crumbled in his Hands

by KenkuKry



Series: You taught me the courage of stars before you left (Victors' Tower) [2]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, Fanfiction of a Fanfiction of a Fanfiction of a Fanfiction of an AU of an AU of a book series, Gen, I simply laugh, for you have never seen the victors tower au, no violence, what are those character tags ??? you beg me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:26:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26266450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KenkuKry/pseuds/KenkuKry
Summary: “RT, do you ever consider what we do is wrong?”“Yea, I do think about that a lot.”--A Games that went wrong, a heart to heart, and a farewell.RT can't help but blame himself for all of them.
Relationships: In this household we love and support FRIENDSHIP, No Romantic Relationship(s)
Series: You taught me the courage of stars before you left (Victors' Tower) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1908334
Comments: 13
Kudos: 34
Collections: victors' tower (stories from floor 6)





	Crumbled in his Hands

**Author's Note:**

  * For [quiche on the vt discord](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=quiche+on+the+vt+discord).



> haha,, I may have not updated for two months then wrote a 'drabble' that's nearly as long as the fic I'm _supposed_ to be writing ,,  
> Sorry for disappearing! But good news! Nearly all of the Gamemakers, both past and present, have been decided, along with how things work in general.  
> For people who aren't on the discord and just want to read any VT they can find:  
> This takes place post Schlatt's games, pre 'on making a name (a story from the capitol)' by Spaghettoi  
> Yes, RT isn't in full support of the games as is heavily implied in 'On the ones pulling the strings' by EverythingFangirl  
> And I'll list the current Gamemakers so you don't have a stroke reading this:  
> Head Gamemaker: Daniel 'RT' Condren  
> Mutt Gamemaker: xQc  
> PR Gamemaker: Jesse 'Plumbella' McNamara  
> Item Gamemaker: DangerouslyFunny/ 'Danger'  
> Engineer Gamemaker: Alpharad/ 'Alpha'
> 
> One final note, this is entirely dedicated to Quiche on the discord, who I had a whole 4 hour straight convo with about Alpharad in the context of VT, which is why he's so well developed! Love you Quiche <33

It was a general consensus among the group that The 66th Games turned out as, in xQc’s eloquent words, ‘a shitshow’.

It was also chosen by all the other Gamemakers to pin the blame on RT.

Hell, even Jesse, the one typically supporting him, bit the bullet.

“You’ve caused quite the ruckus,” she awkwardly laughed when the Gamemaker discussion turned. “I wouldn’t be surprised if the big man himself wanted to speak with ya’, Raniel Taniel.”

Jesse obviously used the affectionate nickname to soften the blow, but it didn’t work. How do you soften that you fucked up _so bad_ that the goddamn _President_ is maybe going to throttle you out of your job? This couldn’t be real, but by the solstices, Jesse’s eyes look apologetic.

“Wouldn’t that be quite the show,” Danger murmured from the other side of the glass table that stretched across the meeting room. He gave a small laugh that even RT could hear from the other side of the stark white room. “The Head Gamemaker, the ever-so high and mighty role, kicked out of his place because of some District 12 kid.”

There was a loud bark of laughter from xQc, but RT felt a shiver down his spine. Solstices, the implications of that paired with Danger’s shark-like smile did not spell well for him. At least it calmed down xQc a bit, who was yelling for the first 10 minutes about ‘whatever the hell happened in that fucking Games’.

“I was not ‘kicked out’ by a D12 kid, there were a lot of issues and coi-”

“--Coincidences. There was no way you could have e~ever known that this would happen,” Danger glares at him from across the table, maintaining monotone.

“I’m sorry!” RT continues, glancing to the others while ignoring the bone-chilling glare from Danger. “I swear I won’t let this turn out like 39, I will fight to make sure you will all keep your jobs-”

“With what strength? You’ve already spent it getting yourself out of whatever happened in 65,” xQc shouts over him, pushing himself up from his chair.”What fucking worth as a Gamemaker do you have to let these two so-called ‘incidents’ happen in a row? Plumbella _barely_ scraped your ass out of media fire for that shit, and a second time is foul! What fucking right do you have-”

“Guys,” Jesse’s voice cuts the argument off. She stares down the others before turning to RT, phone in hand and eyes solemn.

“Daniel.”

“Yes, Plumbella?”

“I have received a message that I’ve forwarded to you. It's from _him_ , and he wants to be here ASAP. I suggest you get your head together before defending what scraps of dignity you have left.”

RT’s blood ran cold. Oh solstices no, _no_ , _**no**_.

The others had varying emotions. Jesse-- Plumbella was solemnly staring away, fidgeting with the purple (weren’t they just pink yesterday?) tips of her hair. DangerouslyFunny’s smile only grew in width, mirth flooding his eyes as if watching Dan’s life fall apart was a sitcom. xQc seemed to be restraining himself from yelling once more, still standing and ready to leave. Alpharad, who had been silent the entire session other than the quiet ‘hello’ from when he entered, was staring at his hands.

That was… Concerning. He should talk to Alpha about that.

“All of you just…” RT turned his gaze to the wood floorboards before letting out a deep sigh. “All of you guys just… Leave. The Gamemaker Meeting has been concluded, you can all continue with your duties.”

xQc, obviously, was the first one out with loud stomping. Then Danger, then Jesse who gave him a supportive tap on the shoulder. 

“Good luck, Dan, I’m sorry,” she seemed apologetic enough.

He grabbed Alpha’s shoulder before he could leave.

“A moment, please?”

Alpha froze underneath his hand, completely tense as the other Gamemakers entered the elevator.

“Uh,” Alpha laughed awkwardly, “what’s up RT?”

“What’s wrong?”

That caught him off guard. As Dan let his hand slip from his shoulder, Alpha turned to him, completely baffled.

“What’s... Wrong?” He repeated back.

“Yea, you seemed off today. You have been for the last couple of months. What’s up?” Dan tried to make his tone as casual as possible.

“Aren’t you supposed to be meeting the President in a bit? I’m sure I can wait,” he took a small step back, towards the elevator.

“Nah, that can wait.”

“President Charles can wait?!”

“Yea, I’m supposed to be Head Gamemaker after all, my main concern is you all. Now, come on in and take a seat,” Dan waved him into a different meeting room, one of the more casual ones. The Gamemakers often used this one when they took breaks together, otherwise known as when Dan would absolutely obliterate them in Mario Kart.

With hesitance, Alpha followed him from behind before sitting beside him on a soft grey couch.

“So, what’s been bothering you? Tell me anything and I won’t tell a soul.”

“You… really won’t tell anybody?”

“By my mother,” Dan smiled to Alpha.

Alpha made eye contact with him before staring at the floor, thinking over his words. But no matter how long the pause was, it wouldn’t have prevented the shock Dan felt from the bombshell dropping. 

“Jo is a rebel.”

… Jo?

Jo, oh Jo. Jo, the funny guy that would hang out with them sometimes on breaks. Jo, who would laugh endlessly with Alpha whenever he was over. Jo, who would always glance to the other Gamemakers with suspicion.

Jo, who is a rebel.

Oh solstices.

“He… Told me a couple days ago and I just… Didn’t know what to do.”

“Didn’t?”

“Uh, yea. I think I know what to do now.”

Dan’s head span to look at Alpha, panicked. _No, no, don’t do that, don't turn him in, it’s not worth it--_ thoughts rushing through his head while he gripped the edge of the couch.

Alpha looked up at his stunned silence before looking back down again. He rested his palm, that was previously fidgeting, over Dan’s strained one. This time, he spoke with much more confidence.

“RT, do you ever consider what we do is wrong?”

Dan has thought about that, and way too much at that. His mind rings with the fact each day he wakes up. Goes to work. Talks with Kevin. 

(Tommy and Quackity were _just 12 years old._ )

“Yea, I do think about that a lot,” it’s almost inaudible, but Alpha hears him.

“I don’t know how but,” Alpha paused to take a deep breath, “it all of a sudden just appears to me that this is… wrong. I shouldn’t be sending literal _children_ to fight, no matter where they come from! On top of that, have you _seen_ what they go through? Not the victors, just the district people in general!”

That perplexed him. Dan pushed him to continue with a confused hum.

“RT, have you ever seen the victory tours?” He winced at that, he could never. The speeches they give remind him too much of his own. “It’s sort of good at the start, but oh solstices when they get to the lower districts. They’re half-starved, or in other cases completely starved.”

“Yea,” Daniel replied, thinking about the tributes he had seen in the past, “they’ve always looked so defeated, even upon their first interview. Well, except--”

“The 12 kid, Schlatt, right?” Alpha continued, adjusting himself to face Dan more, “he didn’t look like he wanted to give up, he just looked-”

“Angry, full of fire and rebellion.”

They stared at each other for a quick moment, both in disbelief. Dan at the fact that for the first time since maybe Kevin, he found someone who completely shares his opinion. Alpha was baffled by how, of all people, he was having a heart to heart about rebellion to the _Head Gamemaker._

“When did you realise?” Dan murmured, maintaining eye contact.

“I guess it was some time after Jo told me, a bit more than a year ago,” Alpha broke eye contact, staring at the wall and letting the tension drain from his shoulders. “When he told me about that and explained why he did a lot of things… Over time things just clicked.”

“It’s quite contradictory, isn’t it?” Dan drew back his hand to fidget. He also decided to make himself more comfortable, so he leaned further into the couch.

“What is?”

“The fact that you’re -- we’re rebellious, but we’re also _Gamemakers_. We’re the ones we’re up against, like a snake eating its own tail.”

Alpha sighed, “yea, I’ve been having a lot of issues with that. It always seems--”

Alpha stopped dead cold. In his peripheral, Dan saw Alpha looking up as the blood drained from his face with pure and utter _fear_.

Dan glanced at what he was looking at, and his heart plummeted.

_ Oh shit. _

There was a camera sticking out of the roof, focused on the two. One which had probably been hearing everything they said.

“Fuck,” Alpha pushed himself up from the couch.

“Uh,” was RT’s only eloquent response.

“I should go, President Charles will be here any moment,” Alpha backed out of the room, not taking his eyes off the camera.

“Yea, he’ll be here,” was all he could reply with, his mind flooded with panicked thoughts.

He was talking quietly during it, but what if the camera heard anyways? He’s as good as dirt, no matter his rank if he’s a suspected rebel. They’ll track him down and those he knows-

Fuck, what if they get Kevin? What if they find Kevin?

Dan plays that thought on loop, getting more terrified every time he thinks more of it, _what if they get Kevin and it’s all my fault?_

Shortly after the elevator dings to signal Alpha’s departure, it dings again.

~~

Daniel is terrified the next day, every moment since waking up he’s constantly glancing around to see any potential Peacekeepers. He flinches at the Peacekeeper who opened the door for him, who just tilted their head to the action

As the elevator rises it gives a _ding_ each floor it passes. Each ding, Daniel's fear that a team of Peacekeepers will flood in increases. 

Is it the elevator shaking, or just him? Maybe he just needs to rest his hands, but every time he holds the handrail his grip gets tighter.

Then the doors open to the Head Gamemaker floor and-

It’s empty.

There aren’t even any meetings or any of the others there to give an update.

It’s a small blessing, too, that there isn’t a Peacekeeper guarding the hallway.

He walks to his desk, ignoring the cameras and walking as normal as possible.

The monitor flashes with an update, so he opens it with hands that could crumble like sand at a moment’s notice.

It’s an email. From the Peacekeeper association, as well as one from Senator Brydges.

.

.

Shit.

It isn’t worth waiting. If he opens it now, he could probably get a message down to the others that he’s leaving. Not enough for a formal resignation, but maybe at least a simple goodbye before being led out by Peacekeepers. 

After a thorough yelling from President Charles, RT was simply just waiting for the message. He’s already gone through the grief, so it’s not going to be that bad-

Oh god, it was bad.

_To Head Gamemaker Daniel Condren,_

_Your employee Alpharad has been discovered to support The Rebel side. This is strongly illegal, therefore Alpharad will be prosecuted rightfully for defying The glorious Capitol._

_This message is automatically generated and is to serve as a warning._

_Thank you for your time and loyalty,_

_The Peacekeeper Association of Panem_

As soon as he finished that one, he opened the next one from Senator Brydges, possibly the worst person to get a mysterious message from.

_To all current Gamemakers,_

_How’s it been? I can tell it’s not been good at all, showing by how the last Games have happened. I hope Charles shook down RT enough because you guys are on thin ice. The 39 protocol can shut down all of you, and I would have called it already if it weren’t for the death glares from Venom._

_ So, I’ve also heard one of you is a rebel? How unfortunate. I’ll give you an update on him. You, along with any high ranking Capitol workers, will never be able to talk with him, ever. If you are caught interacting in any way with him, say goodbye to your job as well. _

_ He will be given one day to pack up. We have already had a replacement assigned, and I assume you all will have the ability to train him in what you all do. I suggest you take this day to meet a real-life rebel face to face! Also to publicly humiliate a rebel in any way you (legally) wish to. _

_ Keep an eye on where you’re stepping, the ice you’re walking on is cracking. You wouldn’t want to fall in, would you? _

_ Senator for The Capitol, Cady Margaret Brydges _

Before he had even finished reading the last sentence, RT was already out the door. Running as fast as he could to the elevator-- no, he couldn’t idle that long, so he diverted quickly to the rarely used stairs.

The consistent pitter-patter of his shoes against the stairs echoed down the stairwell. The sound was joined by his haggard breath. He was never the athletic type but pure adrenaline made him run down the stairs at a potentially dangerous speed.

Then he was there. A metal plaque engraved with the words ‘Floor 3, the Engineering Division, current Gamemaker: Alpharad’.

In some distant part of his brain, he organises the purchase of a new plaque.

RT squeezed around the sliding door before it even fully opens, then takes an open sprint down the workplace. A workplace where the early arrivers are looking rather confused as the Head Gamemaker runs past their desks.

Nearly tripping over his own feet, RT skids around a corner towards a separate corridor. Breath heavy, confused shouts from behind him, he _needs_ to get there. He needs to ignore the cameras, the fact that they’re watching him and--

It’s a small realisation that wriggles into his gut, that this situation is going to turn him to constant paranoia. They’re watching, he has always known this, but this is just too real. A terrifying reminder.

He turns another corner and just avoids a collision with-- wait, Jo?

“Dan? What are you doing here?” Jo stumbled back, eyebrows raised. Solstices, RT can’t believe that he allowed him to call him by his actual name. It just felt… Weird.

“I could be asking you,” he took a rough breath, “the same question.”

“I _work_ here Dan.”

“... Have you heard of what happened to Alpha?”

“Yea, and in the end is it any of your business?” Jo turned defensive at that, readjusting himself to cover more of the hallway entrance.

RT wasn’t sure what to say, so he pulled a risky move. “He told me about you, y’know.”

“Huh?” Jo’s eyebrows scrunched up, suddenly curious.

RT glazed away to see if anyone was nearby before leaning to whisper to Jo.

“I’m like you, I don’t agree with all… This. Just let me talk to him before I can’t anymore, _please_.”

When RT pulled back, Jo looked even more perplexed. He was staring away, somewhere in the middle distance, before stepping away and letting RT pass.

Just as RT started speed-walking down the hall, he heard Jo speak from behind him.

“It’s been great working for you, Daniel, I hope you have a good life.”

~~

Alpharad stared out the window, agape and emotionless. If RT had come around to his desk, he would have seen the email that he had opened on his monitor. Alpha sat there, completely motionless. The only evidence that this room wasn’t trapped in time were the blinds, swaying in the slight breeze from outside. He just looked so exhausted, so unavailing.

“Alpha?” RT called out, trying to drag in his attention.

After a few moments, Alpha turned his chair to him with tired, dead eyes. They widened slightly upon recognition. “Daniel?”

“How’s it been, dude?” Dan spoke softly as he walked towards the opposite side of the desk.

Alpha ran his fingers through his hair, appearing distraught. “I just don’t know… I won’t have a job tomorrow and I won’t be able to speak to any of you guys anymore. At least Jo offered his place for me to stay, that’s the only thing I have for now.”

“That’s great, dude,” it was almost whisper, but it seemed audible enough for Alpha.

It was a futile situation for both of them, decided by the power above them. Dan absolutely _despised_ this feeling of helplessness. He was the Head Gamemaker, he was supposed to get the best outcome for _everyone_ yet this is all crumbling. Crumbling beneath his hands and he can’t do _anything_ to help Alpha.

“I’m,” Dan choked back a sob that threatened to enter his words, “so sorry, Alpha. I’m so sorry, but there’s nothing I can do”

“I know that Dan, don’t worry, it would have happened eventually,” Alpha gave him a frail grin, “but there’s one thing you could do, please.”

‘What is it?”

“Tell the next guy my name was Jacob.”

~~

Dan had to leave after that, Jesse took his place afterwards. She was probably going to talk him through the options and the consequences. But, the way her eyes met his, she was probably feeling the same way he did.

Daniel continued as usual, but he felt a strong sense of futility during it all. He didn’t bother meeting the other Gamemakers during their usual break. It wouldn’t be the same with the rising tension between those left. Without Jo and Alpha-- no, Jacob -- to crack jokes in the background.

Kevin read his expression as soon as he went to meet him. Kev suggested that maybe they could call off their weekend gaming session, which Dan denied. The incident only reminded him further the danger both of them were in. Dan was terrified that if he looked away, Kevin would be taken, too. He didn’t want to be the cause of anyone else losing their job, or worse.

Kevin didn’t ask any more questions, and for 10 minutes they sat in silence.

“It’s the end of my shift, see you next time, maybe?” Kevin offered as he stood in the doorway.

“Yea,” was all he could hope with.

~~

The next day, RT went down to the engineer division. It was almost muscle memory, checking on the other divisions, but this time he diverted to the stairs.

He isn’t sure if he’ll ever use the elevator again.

On the plaque outside, Jacob’s name was scratched out to the point it was unidentifiable. 

Jo was still working reception. When he made eye contact with RT, he simply smiled and nodded to the silent question. RT smiled back, even if it felt terribly forced.

When he reached the Gamemaker room it was just… Barren. The new Gamemaker hadn’t come in yet, and everything had been stripped of spirit and turned to the ‘classic Capitol style’.

RT grimaced at that. Not being an architect for a while, he had grown to despise the Capitol style. It was just lifeless as best, and the room felt even more lifeless without Jacob’s strong energy in it.

.

Later, he’ll go to the break room all the Gamemakers use.

The game console that Jacob and Jo used to play on together will be gone. Instead, it would be in some dumpster, shredded to pieces.

Out of all things, that’ll be the straw that breaks the camel’s back for RT. Then and there, he’ll crumble apart in front of the other Gamemakers.

There, he will feel what it’s like to mourn someone who is still alive.

**Author's Note:**

> Make My Messes Matter WILL have a third chapter, I am Very Sorry


End file.
